[ ... He has a lot of questions, but that's not a conversation that's going to be easy to resolve over the phone, and so-- ]
Can you meet me this afternoon at this park?
[ He lists off an address in Heropa, not far from his own house. If he's giving a weapon back to a child, he supposes he'd rather not be seen doing it as a police officer. ]
[and tomorrow, Ken's sitting on the front steps of De Chima 004 around the time Shepard arrives. He's still bruised and battered in places, but he's honestly looking a lot better than when Shepard last saw him; at least all the blood has been cleared up, and he's not trying to kill anything. He'll raise a hand to wave to him.]
[ When Shepard catches sight of Ken, he lifts his own hand in greeting. He's dressed down, but the leather jacket he's wearing adds a hint of aggressiveness -- or it could just be Shepard's default expression. Hard to say.
He doesn't appear to be carrying anything, but one side of his jacket hangs a little oddly. When he comes closer, he siaxes Ken up consideringly, then lets his shoulders roll back. ]
[Ken tries not to look for the Evoker too immediately. But he's definitely paying attention, trying to see if Shepard really brought it, and the way he relaxes might be telling. His face is a little bruised and swollen, but Ken's very much alive and cleaned up, now.]
[ It's hard for Shepard to tell if Ken's actually doing better or not -- kids always seem so fragile, kind of like Mako and Boo. In this case, he knows appearances are deceiving, but whatever strength was powering Ken during the gas attack, it's more subtly hidden now.
He wonders how much of that is conscious, and how much of it is reflex that's come with experience at hiding himself. ]
The armor kept me from inhaling anything, so I'm fine. Just looking out for places where people could use an extra hand. [ He pauses to reach inside his jacket, and produces the Evoker, holding it out to Ken handle-first. ]
[Ken's expression actually lights up when he sees the Evoker.
If he were to be completely honest, he's not entirely comfortable with his power. Personas and Shadows are directly responsible for the misery his life fell into, and he knows how dangerous they can be. In the right hands -- like Minato's -- they can be for good like any power can be, but in the wrong hands, they're deadly, and Ken doesn't trust his own one bit.
Still, his Persona was something he could call his own, and his attachment to Nemesis is a strong one. Uncomfortable as he may be, he had been absolutely terrified, lacking a way to summon her. He rises to his feet, stumbling just a bit, and almost snatches it out of Shepard's hand like a child taking back a stuffed toy he thought he'd lost. He just barely manages to hold himself back.]
Ah, that's-- y-yes. That's, that's mine. My Evoker.
[When he actually takes it, his hand is shaking just a little.]
[ It's almost uncomfortable, seeing how emotional Ken's getting over something that looks like a gun, even if Shepard knows it isn't one. Shepard almost feels like he should be looking away, like he wasn't meant to see it, but he waits until Ken seems like he's got a firm grip on it before he lets it go. It's obviously pretty important to him, but still, he can't help wondering... ]
Can I ask how you got something like that?
[ It wouldn't have occurred to him to give something like that to a kid, so he's betting either Ken took it or an adult with slightly less moral scruples gave it to them to see what kids could do. ]
[It's momentary, at least, how shaken Ken gets over the gun. He grips it tightly in his hands, silent as Shepard asks his question, and he moves slowly to return the weapon to its holster. His mouth is still turned down in a deep frown, though, and when the gun is put away and he drops his arms at his sides, he doesn't meet Shepard's eyes.
Quietly, he takes a breath.]
The reason I attacked you that night was because I saw you as a Shadow. In my world, that's what we call the monsters that we've been fighting, and this gun, the Evoker, is a tool I need to activate my power. The people who gave me my Evoker approached me when they found out that I had the potential to use a Persona.
[ But you're just a kid, Shepard wants to say. Who thought that kids would make a good target for someone to give a weapon to?
Of course, he knows the answer to that, too. Kids don't necessarily know any better. And they're easier to shut up if something goes wrong. With a troubled frown, he shifts his weight, then elects to sit down on the steps, waving for Ken to do the same. ]
They offered me protection, at first. Even if I had a Persona that could keep me safe, you don't know for sure until it's actually summoned. I... volunteered, because I'd known about it for a couple years by then.
[He tightens his grip the Evoker, turning it a little so the plate on it that reads SEES glints in the sunlight.]
Because the first time I ever saw the Dark Hour, my mom and I got attacked by a Shadow. It's because of the Dark Hour that she's dead -- I have the power to end it, I wasn't gonna sit back and not do anything.
[ Oh. In a way, that makes Ken's attachment to the weapon make more sense. Not that Shepard necessarily likes it, but he can understand what it's like, to want to hold on to something you can control.
Something that could keep your worst nightmare from happening again -- or to someone else. ]
That's a terrible way to lose someone important. [ He says instead, softly. ] Was she your only family?
I never knew a dad, so it was always just her and me. I have relatives, but we don't talk. [With a shake of his head, he returns the Evoker to its holster and lets out a sigh.] The police never believed me so I knew I had to do it on my own. I became a Persona user for revenge...
I know what that's like. [ Shepard exhales, softly. While he has dim memories of his father, it's his mother that stands out in his mind, back held ramrod straight and a strength that wouldn't yield for anything.
Revenge is never the best way to get involved in anything, but Shepard's pretty sure Ken is smart enough to know that already. Instead, he says: ]
I want to find another reason. I did try my revenge. I didn't succeed, but I ended up hurting a lot of people. The person I wanted to kill... he died anyway. I made a mistake I can't take back anymore, but if I'm still alive, I owe it to everybody to stay so. So I want to find another reason. I have to.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text; the 18th
text;
How are you feeling?
no subject
Still seeing things... but better. You have my gun, right?
no subject
Yeah, I have your gun.
no subject
I need it back.
no subject
no subject
But I need it. I need her.
no subject
Can you meet me this afternoon at this park?
[ He lists off an address in Heropa, not far from his own house. If he's giving a weapon back to a child, he supposes he'd rather not be seen doing it as a police officer. ]
no subject
I don't think I can get that far. I'm in De Chima, I just woke up this morning and I'm still affected.
no subject
Then I'll bring it by tomorrow, when you're feeling better. I've got to take care of a few things myself. Just let me know where you need me to be.
no subject
I'll be here.
action???
I'll see you then.
action!!!
[and tomorrow, Ken's sitting on the front steps of De Chima 004 around the time Shepard arrives. He's still bruised and battered in places, but he's honestly looking a lot better than when Shepard last saw him; at least all the blood has been cleared up, and he's not trying to kill anything. He'll raise a hand to wave to him.]
nine thousand years later
He doesn't appear to be carrying anything, but one side of his jacket hangs a little oddly. When he comes closer, he siaxes Ken up consideringly, then lets his shoulders roll back. ]
Hey. Feeling better today?
omg you're not that late pls
Functioning. How about you, Commander?
no subject
He wonders how much of that is conscious, and how much of it is reflex that's come with experience at hiding himself. ]
The armor kept me from inhaling anything, so I'm fine. Just looking out for places where people could use an extra hand. [ He pauses to reach inside his jacket, and produces the Evoker, holding it out to Ken handle-first. ]
I believe this belongs to you.
no subject
If he were to be completely honest, he's not entirely comfortable with his power. Personas and Shadows are directly responsible for the misery his life fell into, and he knows how dangerous they can be. In the right hands -- like Minato's -- they can be for good like any power can be, but in the wrong hands, they're deadly, and Ken doesn't trust his own one bit.
Still, his Persona was something he could call his own, and his attachment to Nemesis is a strong one. Uncomfortable as he may be, he had been absolutely terrified, lacking a way to summon her. He rises to his feet, stumbling just a bit, and almost snatches it out of Shepard's hand like a child taking back a stuffed toy he thought he'd lost. He just barely manages to hold himself back.]
Ah, that's-- y-yes. That's, that's mine. My Evoker.
[When he actually takes it, his hand is shaking just a little.]
no subject
Can I ask how you got something like that?
[ It wouldn't have occurred to him to give something like that to a kid, so he's betting either Ken took it or an adult with slightly less moral scruples gave it to them to see what kids could do. ]
no subject
Quietly, he takes a breath.]
The reason I attacked you that night was because I saw you as a Shadow. In my world, that's what we call the monsters that we've been fighting, and this gun, the Evoker, is a tool I need to activate my power. The people who gave me my Evoker approached me when they found out that I had the potential to use a Persona.
no subject
Of course, he knows the answer to that, too. Kids don't necessarily know any better. And they're easier to shut up if something goes wrong. With a troubled frown, he shifts his weight, then elects to sit down on the steps, waving for Ken to do the same. ]
It never occurred to you to refuse?
no subject
They offered me protection, at first. Even if I had a Persona that could keep me safe, you don't know for sure until it's actually summoned. I... volunteered, because I'd known about it for a couple years by then.
[He tightens his grip the Evoker, turning it a little so the plate on it that reads SEES glints in the sunlight.]
Because the first time I ever saw the Dark Hour, my mom and I got attacked by a Shadow. It's because of the Dark Hour that she's dead -- I have the power to end it, I wasn't gonna sit back and not do anything.
uses necromancer magic on thread
Something that could keep your worst nightmare from happening again -- or to someone else. ]
That's a terrible way to lose someone important. [ He says instead, softly. ] Was she your only family?
yeeeeeee
I never knew a dad, so it was always just her and me. I have relatives, but we don't talk. [With a shake of his head, he returns the Evoker to its holster and lets out a sigh.] The police never believed me so I knew I had to do it on my own. I became a Persona user for revenge...
no subject
Revenge is never the best way to get involved in anything, but Shepard's pretty sure Ken is smart enough to know that already. Instead, he says: ]
But that's not why you fight anymore, is it?
no subject
I want to find another reason. I did try my revenge. I didn't succeed, but I ended up hurting a lot of people. The person I wanted to kill... he died anyway. I made a mistake I can't take back anymore, but if I'm still alive, I owe it to everybody to stay so. So I want to find another reason. I have to.