[ic contact]

[sassguard]

"You've reached Commander Shepard."

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Comments

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: I can see why you never got together with anyone.

Have I ever taken advantage of you?

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: Are you making fun of me? I'm not exactly incapable of dating.

I don't know, the whole committing mutiny thing could've gotten close to it.

Kaidan

[ Too bad text doesn't really get across a joke well. ]

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: Just incapable of taking a hint, apparently.

I was under the impression you enjoyed that.

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: I don't want to ASSUME...

I'm pretty sure that trying to break regs isn't something I'd enjoy, you know. Especially one that could end up with me getting a court martial or worse. What I actually enjoyed was saving the damn galaxy.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: Sometimes you have to take a few risks.

Yeah. It seemed a lot easier to do it back then.

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: That sounds like something you'd say

I think it was easier to do back in. Now they're wise to how much trouble you can cause.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: You know me.

Are you calling me a troublemaker, Spectre?

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: At least I don't think you're a woman, so I'd like to think I do.

You ARE a troublemaker, Spectre.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: I can't tell if that's a compliment or an insult.

Hey, it's not like I ask people to shoot at me.

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: Well it was SUPPOSED to be a compliment

Are you sure? I mean, I'm starting to wonder if you have a "shoot me" pheromone or something. You attract a lot of attention.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: Maybe you're just bad with everyone.

Maybe you're onto something. I should have Dr. Chakwas look into that, when I get back home. Assuming I ever see her again.

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: I'm not the one who's supposed to be able to talk my way out of almost every situation.

She was assigned to the Normandy, so... probably?

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: That just means you should have picked up a few tricks by now.

Really? Makes me feel better knowing that. She must have helped with the migraines, too.

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: Maybe I was distracted!

I'm sure she will. I haven't exactly been on the ship long. I had just got on board, actually.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: By what, the architecture???

You were on the ship when we were leaving Earth. Did you have to leave because of the Spectre promotion?

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: No! I can be distracted by other things.

I didn't leave for the Spectre offer, I was off before then. In the hospital. I got banged up pretty bad.

Kaidan
(Why are we still signing these?)

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: Right, like dancers.

And you didn't think that it might have been a good idea to tell me that part.

(I don't know, you started it.)

[biotically]

SUBJECT: No, not like the damn dancers!

Well I'm obviously better. So it didn't seem all that important.

(Well, I'm stopping it.)

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: I don't see what else could have distracted you.

You don't think I'd like to know what put you in the hospital in the first place? Under my watch?

[biotically]

SUBJECT: I don't know? I have a lot on my mind sometimes.

It's not anything any of us could have done differently. I was sloppy, got hurt by a mech.