sassguard: (hahaha no)
Cdr. John Shepard ([personal profile] sassguard) wrote2014-06-17 11:08 am
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sassguard: (as you surrender everything)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-26 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: Do you ever change this thing?

If you say so, but you'll basically be cooking for two of you.

Should I bring anything?

Shepard
Edited 2014-07-26 20:12 (UTC)
biotically: (Please!!!!)

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-26 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: Do we need to have two conversations at once?

I don't know, if you want to bring the beers I won't complain.

Kaidan
sassguard: (Default)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: A Spectre should be able to multitask. So how'd the date go?

Any kind of beer in particular?

Shepard
biotically: (You're all alone)

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-27 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: What date?

Uh, any, but Canadian Lager's the quick way to my heart.

Kaidan

[ You can bet you're ass that after sending it, he's spent the past 5 minutes staring at his omnitool, with a very obvious "shit" face. ]
Edited 2014-07-27 01:02 (UTC)
sassguard: (look at dat booty)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 01:24 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: With that reporter(???) from that online tabloid?

Better not let that information get into the wrong hands. I'd hate to see what al-Jilani would do with the news that the second human Spectre was that easy.

Shepard

[ Someone just missed the hint train by a mile and then some. ]
biotically: (You focus on career and then)

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-27 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: What Freddie? It wasn't a date, we were just having drinks!

Don't worry about it, I'm only that easy for friends. [ SHIT. AGAIN. ] I mean, I'm not going to be taking offerings from just anyone off the street.

Kaidan

[ Fucking. Idiots. ]
Edited 2014-07-27 01:36 (UTC)
sassguard: (council pls)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: Flirting then drinks usually makes it a date, Kaidan.

I'll try not to abuse my power, then.

Shepard
Edited (EDITS ETERNALLY) 2014-07-27 05:41 (UTC)
biotically: (Default)

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-27 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: But it wasn't CALLED a date, why wouldn't she just say it?

Yeah, I appreciate that you'd look out for me like that. Never know when you're going to have a friend take advantage of you.

Kaidan
Edited (EDITS BACK AT YOU) 2014-07-27 05:43 (UTC)
sassguard: (Default)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: I can see why you never got together with anyone.

Have I ever taken advantage of you?

Shepard
biotically: (Techie)

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-27 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: Are you making fun of me? I'm not exactly incapable of dating.

I don't know, the whole committing mutiny thing could've gotten close to it.

Kaidan

[ Too bad text doesn't really get across a joke well. ]
sassguard: (think of the puppies)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 06:18 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: Just incapable of taking a hint, apparently.

I was under the impression you enjoyed that.

Shepard
biotically: (But really that's cold)

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-27 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: I don't want to ASSUME...

I'm pretty sure that trying to break regs isn't something I'd enjoy, you know. Especially one that could end up with me getting a court martial or worse. What I actually enjoyed was saving the damn galaxy.

Kaidan
sassguard: (veils the signs)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 06:32 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: Sometimes you have to take a few risks.

Yeah. It seemed a lot easier to do it back then.

Shepard
Edited 2014-07-27 06:33 (UTC)
biotically: (Hopefully I did it right)

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-27 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: That sounds like something you'd say

I think it was easier to do back in. Now they're wise to how much trouble you can cause.

Kaidan
sassguard: (look at dat booty)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 07:54 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: You know me.

Are you calling me a troublemaker, Spectre?

Shepard
biotically: (Won't you find somebody)

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-27 07:58 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: At least I don't think you're a woman, so I'd like to think I do.

You ARE a troublemaker, Spectre.

Kaidan
sassguard: (okay who farted)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 08:09 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: I can't tell if that's a compliment or an insult.

Hey, it's not like I ask people to shoot at me.

Shepard
biotically: ("incorruptible")

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-27 08:12 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: Well it was SUPPOSED to be a compliment

Are you sure? I mean, I'm starting to wonder if you have a "shoot me" pheromone or something. You attract a lot of attention.

Kaidan
sassguard: (kawaii in the streets)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 08:50 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: Maybe you're just bad with everyone.

Maybe you're onto something. I should have Dr. Chakwas look into that, when I get back home. Assuming I ever see her again.

Shepard
biotically: (my ass just happens to be in this shot)

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-27 08:53 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: I'm not the one who's supposed to be able to talk my way out of almost every situation.

She was assigned to the Normandy, so... probably?

Kaidan
sassguard: (senpai in the sheets)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 09:28 am (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: That just means you should have picked up a few tricks by now.

Really? Makes me feel better knowing that. She must have helped with the migraines, too.

Shepard
biotically: (Great empty void)

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-27 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: Maybe I was distracted!

I'm sure she will. I haven't exactly been on the ship long. I had just got on board, actually.

Kaidan
Edited 2014-07-27 18:29 (UTC)
sassguard: (don't fuck with shepard)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: By what, the architecture???

You were on the ship when we were leaving Earth. Did you have to leave because of the Spectre promotion?

Shepard
biotically: (Welp)

[personal profile] biotically 2014-07-27 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: No! I can be distracted by other things.

I didn't leave for the Spectre offer, I was off before then. In the hospital. I got banged up pretty bad.

Kaidan
(Why are we still signing these?)
sassguard: (♜ you've got five minutes)

[personal profile] sassguard 2014-07-27 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
SUBJECT: Right, like dancers.

And you didn't think that it might have been a good idea to tell me that part.

(I don't know, you started it.)
Edited 2014-07-27 22:09 (UTC)

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