I am pretty good at creating unforgettable moments.
But anyway... I looked into what exactly it was. It wasn't pretty. Proof of an Alliance black ops raid on a Batarian research station researching Reaper tech that ultimately ended in a ton of dead Batarians. When I looked into it more, it seemed like the story didn't end there, so I leaked it to a Spectre named Jondum Bau.
Guy's been after me for years, but I figured he could look into it more than I could.
Tricking a Spectre into doing your dirty work for you? You get points for creativity, at least.
[ Shepard's only teasing, though, and his tone grows serious soon enough -- after all, "Reaper tech that ended in a ton of dead Batarians" is uncomfortably close to personal experience, after all. ]
He was. And he asked for your help, naturally. I wasn't quite expecting that, but it was a pleasant surprise. He even figured out that the anonymous tip was from me.
[ A pause. ]
Still couldn't catch me, though, even though I was right there and decided to tag along with you while you went about snooping about the Citadel for more information. The loose end was that there were hanar operatives-turned-diplomats present during that raid, too, and of course they were indoctrinated.
Well. If nothing else, we got to catch up a little.
Indoctrinated hanar? That's not something you hear about every day.
[ Shepard doesn't know whether to be horrified or impressed. Trying to imagine the Reapers taking over the Universe via the Hanar is an amusing mental image though, as much as he hates to admit it... ]
Sounds like future me gets to be a pretty busy guy. I glad he made time.
I haven't even gotten to the best part. The hanar had a mistress.
A mistress. Isn't that just odd?
[ She chuckles. ]
In any case, I'm glad future you made the time, too. You were a huge help. The indoctrinated hanar went all religious zealot and tried to disable all of Kahje's defenses so that the Reapers could have at it, but you and Bau--well, and me--made it just in time to stop.
I believe your exact words were, "You big stupid jellyfish."
[ She makes a hesitant sort of hum at that. Even having fought alongside the crew for the suicide mission, Kasumi would always hesitate at being identified as any sort of hero. She's a thief. ]
I wouldn't say it like that. I was just at the right place at the right time.
[ A white lie. Kahje might have been destroyed as per the hanar diplomat's insane plans had Kasumi chosen not to intervene by leaking the intel to Bau. ]
[ Whatever, Kasumi. Deny it all you want, but you're a certified hero. ]
I could say the same thing about the last two years, but no one's letting me get away with it. [ He pauses, then grins. ] Don't worry. I'm not going to ruin your reputation.
[ She immediately recognizes that for what it is... ]
That was different. Alenko was just wary because of Cerberus, right? Can't exactly blame the guy. He did miss out on some good times, though.
In any case, I... I don't know, Shep. The suicide mission was--a lot for me, you know? I'm a thief, not a soldier. Being in the line of fire isn't exactly my thing.
Plus, there was... Well. [ She clears her throat. ] I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Keiji.
You're frighteningly perceptive. Has anyone ever told you that?
[ He pauses. ] It was probably for the best he wasn't there.
[ He made a point of not asking him to come. He knew what the answer would be. But this isn't about just Kaidan, and he zeroes in on Kasumi's uncharacteristic stumbling. ]
I understand. For a suicide mission, we did all right -- but it left a lot of us at loose ends. [ He pauses. ] I don't think I've ever asked you what that's like.
I've gotten that a few times, yeah. [ From Keiji, mostly. And Joker had said something very much to the same effect but in different words (the word "creepy" comes to mind). ]
But I'd agree. I doubt he'd have gotten along with anyone, plus--look how well he's turned out now. The second human Spectre.
[ Be proud of your boyfriend, Shep. ]
You want to know what that's like, huh? Well... After the crew split, it was back to business as usual for me, really, but I could have a lot more time with Keiji without a big suicide mission filling up my schedule.
[ She says it lightheartedly, but there's a painful tinge of truth in her words. She'd spent a lot of time in the graybox; doing so was one of the reasons she eventually gained access to the intel surrounding the batarians and the indoctrinated hanar--not entirely because she felt an innate, altruistic need to make sure whatever it would be wasn't dangerous if swept completely under the rug, but because she needed to know just what exactly Keiji died for. ]
I had enough fights to break up as it was. [ Shepard exhales softly, but his voice does carry a tinge of pride when he says: ] And he technically outranks me now, too. He earned it.
[ Unlike Shepard, Kaidan hadn't simply had to be there at the right place and time. But when Kasumi goes on to talk about Keiji, Shepard pauses, reflecting on that.
He isn't sure what it's like, to have a loved one pass on. He's lost his father, but he was young, and he suspects it doesn't really compare to losing someone who was a partner, your friend. Someone you'd hoped you'd be able to spend the rest of your life with. He's... also pretty sure it's not healthy, although he supposes he's hardly the poster child for emotional health.
But even so. ]
That doesn't seem like you. [ Pause. ] No offense.
[ She makes a little humming noise, perplexed by his words. She'd made no secret of the fact that she wasn't entirely over Keiji's death, after all, although perhaps that was something that only really became obvious to Shepard when they'd met again back home; as it is, this Shepard hadn't seen her, doesn't know that she'd spent the last six month since the Normandy crew split living vicariously through her old memories. ]
[ The silence on the other end of the line should be pretty telling.
Because Kasumi, for once, doesn't have an immediate response or witty comeback, because for once, she's not sure. Sure, it made her happy to think back on all the great times that she and Keiji had together, but it also made her incredibly sad, incredibly lonely. Because there's always an end to those memories. No matter how much or how many times she watches them, eventually they come to a stop, cut off like an unfinished film.
Still, she takes the easy answer. ]
Yeah, of course it does.
[ But don't mind the way her voice chokes up for a split second, there. ]
[ And even if it's just over the comm, it's enough to make Shepard shift uneasily. If this was face to face, maybe he could have something more to offer. The solid weight of his presence, or a sign that he understands what Kasumi can't or won't say. He's not very good at finding the right thing to say, or knowing when it's right to call someone out on something or not. He'd gotten close to his crew, but that was when they were relatively certain they were heading for certain death. Here, it's easier to find excuse not to get into each other's business.
Finally: ]
You're allowed to be happy because of more than one thing, you know.
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I am pretty good at creating unforgettable moments.
But anyway... I looked into what exactly it was. It wasn't pretty. Proof of an Alliance black ops raid on a Batarian research station researching Reaper tech that ultimately ended in a ton of dead Batarians. When I looked into it more, it seemed like the story didn't end there, so I leaked it to a Spectre named Jondum Bau.
Guy's been after me for years, but I figured he could look into it more than I could.
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[ Shepard's only teasing, though, and his tone grows serious soon enough -- after all, "Reaper tech that ended in a ton of dead Batarians" is uncomfortably close to personal experience, after all. ]
Was Bau on the Citadel?
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[ A pause. ]
Still couldn't catch me, though, even though I was right there and decided to tag along with you while you went about snooping about the Citadel for more information. The loose end was that there were hanar operatives-turned-diplomats present during that raid, too, and of course they were indoctrinated.
Well. If nothing else, we got to catch up a little.
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[ Shepard doesn't know whether to be horrified or impressed. Trying to imagine the Reapers taking over the Universe via the Hanar is an amusing mental image though, as much as he hates to admit it... ]
Sounds like future me gets to be a pretty busy guy. I glad he made time.
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A mistress. Isn't that just odd?
[ She chuckles. ]
In any case, I'm glad future you made the time, too. You were a huge help. The indoctrinated hanar went all religious zealot and tried to disable all of Kahje's defenses so that the Reapers could have at it, but you and Bau--well, and me--made it just in time to stop.
I believe your exact words were, "You big stupid jellyfish."
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I guess future me and I have more in common than I realized. [ He pauses. ] So technically, you helped save our galaxy as we know it?
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I wouldn't say it like that. I was just at the right place at the right time.
[ A white lie. Kahje might have been destroyed as per the hanar diplomat's insane plans had Kasumi chosen not to intervene by leaking the intel to Bau. ]
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I could say the same thing about the last two years, but no one's letting me get away with it. [ He pauses, then grins. ] Don't worry. I'm not going to ruin your reputation.
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[ Denial until the very end, it looks like. ]
Anyway, it was a good chance to catch up for a little bit. You tried to get me to join back up, of course.
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[ Like Kaidan... ]
holy shit adverbs up the wazzoo in my last tag i'm sorry
That was different. Alenko was just wary because of Cerberus, right? Can't exactly blame the guy. He did miss out on some good times, though.
In any case, I... I don't know, Shep. The suicide mission was--a lot for me, you know? I'm a thief, not a soldier. Being in the line of fire isn't exactly my thing.
Plus, there was... Well. [ She clears her throat. ] I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Keiji.
IT'S OKAY...
[ He pauses. ] It was probably for the best he wasn't there.
[ He made a point of not asking him to come. He knew what the answer would be. But this isn't about just Kaidan, and he zeroes in on Kasumi's uncharacteristic stumbling. ]
I understand. For a suicide mission, we did all right -- but it left a lot of us at loose ends. [ He pauses. ] I don't think I've ever asked you what that's like.
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But I'd agree. I doubt he'd have gotten along with anyone, plus--look how well he's turned out now. The second human Spectre.
[ Be proud of your boyfriend, Shep. ]
You want to know what that's like, huh? Well... After the crew split, it was back to business as usual for me, really, but I could have a lot more time with Keiji without a big suicide mission filling up my schedule.
[ She says it lightheartedly, but there's a painful tinge of truth in her words. She'd spent a lot of time in the graybox; doing so was one of the reasons she eventually gained access to the intel surrounding the batarians and the indoctrinated hanar--not entirely because she felt an innate, altruistic need to make sure whatever it would be wasn't dangerous if swept completely under the rug, but because she needed to know just what exactly Keiji died for. ]
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[ Unlike Shepard, Kaidan hadn't simply had to be there at the right place and time. But when Kasumi goes on to talk about Keiji, Shepard pauses, reflecting on that.
He isn't sure what it's like, to have a loved one pass on. He's lost his father, but he was young, and he suspects it doesn't really compare to losing someone who was a partner, your friend. Someone you'd hoped you'd be able to spend the rest of your life with. He's... also pretty sure it's not healthy, although he supposes he's hardly the poster child for emotional health.
But even so. ]
That doesn't seem like you. [ Pause. ] No offense.
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And what do you mean by that, exactly?
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You sound like you spent a lot of time getting lost in your memories.
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I wouldn't call it getting lost in them, necessarily...
[ No, Kasumi, that's an apt description if there ever was one. ]
I'm just nostalgic, is all.
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Does it make you happy?
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Because Kasumi, for once, doesn't have an immediate response or witty comeback, because for once, she's not sure. Sure, it made her happy to think back on all the great times that she and Keiji had together, but it also made her incredibly sad, incredibly lonely. Because there's always an end to those memories. No matter how much or how many times she watches them, eventually they come to a stop, cut off like an unfinished film.
Still, she takes the easy answer. ]
Yeah, of course it does.
[ But don't mind the way her voice chokes up for a split second, there. ]
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Finally: ]
You're allowed to be happy because of more than one thing, you know.
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--No, apparently. ]
--What do you mean by that?
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That doesn't mean you can't make other memories too.
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