[ic contact]

[sassguard]

"You've reached Commander Shepard."

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Comments

[biotically]

SUBJECT: RE: RE: Lunch?

Probably, but not without paying an arm and a leg. I was thinking you could come by my place, and I'll just make something.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: Lunch?

Didn't know you could cook. You sure your housemates won't mind?

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: RE: Lunch?

Hey, I'm a biotic, of course I can cook. Otherwise I'm liable to starve. Don't tell me they never put you through cooking classes?

And no, they won't mind.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: Lunch at Casa Alenko

No classes, but my roommate on Arcturus taught me a few things. Don't get your hopes up about me being any help, though, it's been a while.

Where do you actually live again?

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: RE: Lunch at Casa Alenko

Residence 15.

And don't worry, I can cook just fine for one person, two isn't much more than that.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: Do you ever change this thing?

If you say so, but you'll basically be cooking for two of you.

Should I bring anything?

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: Do we need to have two conversations at once?

I don't know, if you want to bring the beers I won't complain.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: A Spectre should be able to multitask. So how'd the date go?

Any kind of beer in particular?

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: What date?

Uh, any, but Canadian Lager's the quick way to my heart.

Kaidan

[ You can bet you're ass that after sending it, he's spent the past 5 minutes staring at his omnitool, with a very obvious "shit" face. ]

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: With that reporter(???) from that online tabloid?

Better not let that information get into the wrong hands. I'd hate to see what al-Jilani would do with the news that the second human Spectre was that easy.

Shepard

[ Someone just missed the hint train by a mile and then some. ]

[biotically]

SUBJECT: What Freddie? It wasn't a date, we were just having drinks!

Don't worry about it, I'm only that easy for friends. [ SHIT. AGAIN. ] I mean, I'm not going to be taking offerings from just anyone off the street.

Kaidan

[ Fucking. Idiots. ]

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: Flirting then drinks usually makes it a date, Kaidan.

I'll try not to abuse my power, then.

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: But it wasn't CALLED a date, why wouldn't she just say it?

Yeah, I appreciate that you'd look out for me like that. Never know when you're going to have a friend take advantage of you.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: I can see why you never got together with anyone.

Have I ever taken advantage of you?

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: Are you making fun of me? I'm not exactly incapable of dating.

I don't know, the whole committing mutiny thing could've gotten close to it.

Kaidan

[ Too bad text doesn't really get across a joke well. ]

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: Just incapable of taking a hint, apparently.

I was under the impression you enjoyed that.

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: I don't want to ASSUME...

I'm pretty sure that trying to break regs isn't something I'd enjoy, you know. Especially one that could end up with me getting a court martial or worse. What I actually enjoyed was saving the damn galaxy.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: Sometimes you have to take a few risks.

Yeah. It seemed a lot easier to do it back then.

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: That sounds like something you'd say

I think it was easier to do back in. Now they're wise to how much trouble you can cause.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: You know me.

Are you calling me a troublemaker, Spectre?

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: At least I don't think you're a woman, so I'd like to think I do.

You ARE a troublemaker, Spectre.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: I can't tell if that's a compliment or an insult.

Hey, it's not like I ask people to shoot at me.

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: Well it was SUPPOSED to be a compliment

Are you sure? I mean, I'm starting to wonder if you have a "shoot me" pheromone or something. You attract a lot of attention.

Kaidan

[sassguard]

SUBJECT: Maybe you're just bad with everyone.

Maybe you're onto something. I should have Dr. Chakwas look into that, when I get back home. Assuming I ever see her again.

Shepard

[biotically]

SUBJECT: I'm not the one who's supposed to be able to talk my way out of almost every situation.

She was assigned to the Normandy, so... probably?

Kaidan