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[sassguard]

"You've reached Commander Shepard."

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[sassguard]

[ If they were face-to-face, she could probably see his brain short-circuiting in protest, but as it is he manages to barely choke out a coherent response. ]

That's not convincing me.

[stealwithit]

You roll over, your breath quiet and your body still, and you swear you can almost hear him breathing on the other side...

[ Seriously you need to stop her... ]

[sassguard]

Is this the kind of thing you think about in your spare time?

[ Seriously, he's horrified, but also kind of morbidly fascinated, before he catches himself and remembers that he's really not supposed to be encouraging this kind of behavior. ]

Anyway, it's not like that. You make it sound like I'm pining.

[stealwithit]

--Wait, are you not?

[ You can't see it, Shep, but she is shaking her head at you. ]

[sassguard]

[ Why the headshake, Kasumi... anyway, he avoids answering the question. ]

I don't want to assume too much.

[stealwithit]

[ She sounds totally unconvinced: ]

Uh-huh.

All that sexual tension, and you're not pining now that you two are together. Not at all. That makes perfect sense.

[sassguard]

[ Well when she puts it like that -- ]

You can't pine for something that you already have, can you?

[stealwithit]

[ OOOOOOoooooo... ]

Touché, Commander.

You still can, though. Like you can pine for him while you're at work or he can pine for you when you're at work. That kind of thing.

[sassguard]

[ Well, maybe Shepard pines a little, but he figured that was a little weird. No way is he admitting that to Kasumi, though. ]

That doesn't sound like ... it would help either of us accomplish much.

[stealwithit]

Maybe, but it sure as hell makes the time you do get to spend together that much sweeter, right?

[ she sounds sincere. Weird. ]

[sassguard]

[ so weird, but it's enough to catch Shepard off guard enough to admit-- ]

It's hard to imagine it getting better.

[stealwithit]

Oh my god.

That is the sweetest thing I've heard.

[sassguard]

[ He's honestly not sure how she expects him to react to that, but after a few seconds' hesitation, he finally ventures-- ]

I wasn't trying to be.

[stealwithit]

Even better.

[ A beat of silence; thought, on Kasumi's part. ]

I really am glad for you two, you know. I suppose being removed from a galaxy at war's given you more time to think about personal relationships, huh?

[ It certainly has done that for her, though she doesn't quite realize it for what it is, nor would she admit it even if she was aware. ]

[sassguard]

[ Funny she should bring that up. Shepard clears his throat a little, his frown audible even just on the audio feed. ]

It wasn't at war yet. At least not for me. Kaidan says the Reapers have attacked Earth and the rest of the galaxy where he's from, but the last thing I remember is sitting in a room at Alliance HQ after I turned myself in. [ He pauses. ]

How long ago was that, for you?

[stealwithit]

[ She finds herself having to double take back to when she first arrived here when he talks about discrepancies between... timelines. She had heard that was an issue amongst the crew, but she's never bothered much to figure out just how mismatched they all were. Now's a good a time as any, right? ]

That... was a little while ago. Not too long ago. But the Reapers had attacked Earth. They hadn't really attacked the rest of the galaxy quite yet, so I suppose that places the Major ahead of me. The last I'd heard of you was that you were on Sur'Kesh.

[sassguard]

Sur'Kesh?

[ Huh. Kaidan hadn't mentioned anything about that. ]

I don't suppose you have any idea what I was doing there?

[stealwithit]

I'm... actually a little fuzzy on the details, Shep. [ After all, the only reason she'd know is because she'd snooped around to check in on the Normandy out of curiosity. ] But I'm fairly certain it had to do with the genophage.

[sassguard]

[ Ah. Well, that makes sense, tying into what Kaidan has told him. He rubs the back of his neck, the wryness creeping through his tone audible even now. ]

Kaidan said something about curing it.

[stealwithit]

Yeah. Just, you know, changing the course of history. Which sort of just sounds like a regular Tuesday for you.

I wish I could tell you more, but it's surprisingly hard to keep track of the Normandy from far away.

[sassguard]

I'm surprised you didn't just sneak on. But I'm touched you're keeping tabs on me.

[stealwithit]

[ ...oh boy. ]

Right. You wouldn't remember the... conversation we had on the Citadel.

[sassguard]

Afraid not. But you could fill me in.

[stealwithit]

Well...

[ She trails off, unsure of where to begin. ]

Remember that dangerous intel that Keiji had in his graybox...?

[sassguard]

After what we went through to get it, it's not the kind of thing you forget.